Don't Ask, Don't Tell... why all parents should hate it.

I don't usually use this blog or our other blog to talk about politics or - more specifically - gay rights. So, some of you might wonder why it is that I'm now writing (or rather ranting) this blog about my thoughts on the US military's policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. First, if your not familiar with DADT you can read about it HERE. Although DADT is a LGBT issue of equality, as a parent I find it a deplorable policy for another reason. DADT teaches shame... to everyone. I think most parents want their children to grow up being strong, confident people. I think most parents want their children to be individuals, who think for themselves and stand up for what they believe in. So, my dear blog friends, what kind of message does it send to the children of our great country when one of it's largest institutions has a policy that tells people that they have to hide who they are or they will be fired??? Don't be different then the majority - it's bad. Is that really the message we want to send to our children? Don't get me wrong, I know that there are potential challenges (both legal and emotional) with having out men and women serving in our armed forces. But, do we really want to teach our children that instead of excepting people for who they are, we should just tell them to hide their uniqueness so that it doesn't interfere? Should we suggest that when faced with the challenge of integrating "different" people, we shouldn't face that challenge and instead we should just tell them to hide or get out? When the going get's tough, the tough run away?

So - call your elected officials! Tell them that as a parent you believe that DADT teaches children that it's okay to be forced into hiding who they are (whatever that may end up being). Tell them that you want your children to be proud of who they are, and that it's not appropriate for our armed services to be setting such a bad example for our future leaders. Tell them to take action now!

Okay - I'm done with my rant. Thanks for reading. :)

~W

A book you should read...

John and I have been long time participants in Abbie Goldberg's (of Clark University) Transition to Adoptive Parenthood Project (TAPP). The study "is aimed at exploring the transition to adoptive parenthood in a diverse group of families." As such, when we got word that the APA would publish her most recent book - Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle- we went to Amazon and pre-ordered the book. I assumed that the book would be interesting, but more than anything I wanted to buy it to show my support for Abbie and her talented team of assistants. The book is billed as "a comprehensive overview of the research on same-sex parenting.." and after reading it I have to firmly agree with that description. As gay man, and now parent, I found it extremely interesting to read.

I could easily relate to many of the challenges and benefits of same-sex parenting that are discussed, and it also added plenty of things for me to think about our child's future. It's amazing to me the vastly different experiences that gays and lesbians experience. I was lucky enough to grow up in an environment that was very accepting of diversity, and to this day have never experienced first hand overt discrimination as a result of being an out, gay man. With that being said, I do recognize that there are many, many, many other LGBT who have not had that same luck, and Abbie's research overview makes it abundantly clear that there is so much more work to be done if we want to live in a world where LGBT folks are considered equals.

Anyway - it's just a really interesting, unique read. You should seriously consider learning about Abbie Goldberg's research by clicking HERE, or buy her most recent book by clicking HERE.

Thanks for reading.
~W